The last thing I want to do; is worry about how I’m going to pay my next bill. I still have drug problems, and even though this Television show is bringing revenue in like crazy, I’m spending more than I bring in.

The other day, I received a notice from the bank telling me, if I don’t pay the bills, I will lose my house. Yes. My house is going to be ripped from underneath me and I will be left for dead.

What I mean by being left for dead is; I will have to live out on the barren streets. I say barren because there are not many poor people in my neighborhood. I guess I will get the homeless shelter all to myself.

 It makes me feel so sad inside, because I will be one of the only poor persons in my city.

(Sigh) This is not what is supposed to happen. I will not let this go down in vain.

My drug problem is going to be the death of me. Not literally, but it is something that I will have to carry the burden of. I’ve tried to get help, but every time I come out from beneath the roof of the drug rehab, I relapse hard. This happens when I start to party.

The partying in my life has to stop. Even though my bros before hoes(Homies), egg me on to party, I must not give in to peer pressure.

But to say that I will not give in to peer pressure is more hard done than said.

Sometimes I always wondered what people mean when they would say, “It’s Harder done than said.” But now I get what they were trying to say. The message means this. Anything hard that one does, that same person,” Which is me at the moment” needs to take a step back and listen to what one self is saying.

I need to step back, and study what it means to stop. I don’t think I have a good enough grasp of what I need to do to stop. If I don’t know what it means to stop, then I will determine my own fate.

Signing out:                                                          Robert