Tag Archive: fiction


“All arise- Before the judge!”

“Thank you and may be seated! First off let us get to the case of Robert Haze!”

“Robert, I would like you please stand up before the court and state your name please?”

“Yes your honor. Hi, my name is Robert; and this is not all flash fiction darling here from Orange county jail, as you can see , I’m wearing a beautiful orange for my appearance.”

The last comment made the crowd go up in laughter but some jury members not so much!

“Okay thank you, Robert, be seated. Order that’s it, Order in the court! “He started to bang his hammer in motion for the audience to settle down.

The judge begins by bringing up the case of my Robbery from two and a half months ago.

Judge: “I see you are in here for aggravated assault and attempted robbery.”

Attorney speaks: Your honor we have here a case of something that will not happen again. As you can see here on this chart, brought to you by FBI statistical website; the offender has put in at least almost three months.

“He has served his term of statistical time that usually goes with good behavior. “

Prosecutor: Objection! Inmate has had one count of battery while in prison, your honor. He can’t just go around saying that the inmate has changed his radical behaviors by spending just months in jail.

“Over ruled! Go ahead attorney! “

“Yes your honor! As you can see here half of people that go into prison for a term of three months will come out and never repeat the offense again or any other subsequent offenses. Of which all of these statistics are not a flash fiction game. This is all I have your honor.”

“Would the defendant please stand! Robert, since you do have a near clean record, I would love to grant you months to years of your jail sentence on probationary terms. “;

“But as I see here, you are not yet through the three months of jail and I would like to see some more weeks of good behavior to prove the defendants claims of this not being flash fiction.

As in sequence of that said by me, we will go ahead and set another hearing for three weeks from now!

Attorney: “Two weeks, please, your honor?”

“Two weeks will be granted on your request! Thank you for asking so nicely about this flash fiction game. “

He bangs his hammer hard and it makes my ear drums ring. I thought we were friends by the way the judge addressed me at the end. I do wish that could be permitted to yell something but that would raise my sentence.

I end up walking out of the courtroom with my head down because of the shocked feeling I had to get over. It was so close to me being free today to win the flash fiction game? I will push through to the end!

HURRAH!

SIGNED

               OUT: Robert Haze

 

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In and Out of Prison!

I know you can do it; one, two and three; keep going. I want you to vision the victory you will have at the end of this day. You’ve worked so hard and everyday done more workouts than ever because of your boredom.

After the last set of pushups, I knew that had been the last time in the day. Everyday stunk of the funky smell of sweat in the workout room of the prison.

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss the outside world. I really do wish that the judge will give me a let go after the next court date.

 I hurried and pushed myself further up as the last thought leaves traces of epiphany behind with a trail of dust. There had to be a way of getting out if I can’t get out upon the judges request. He was my only hope to get out soon.

I’m sorry to say this but I’ve been away now for quite some time and know that most of you have probably stopped reading this blog. There has been a chain of events that have happened to me within the last weeks.

These events have led to my mind being tortured and forced to feel the hatred I had for those dumb guards; whom, beat one down every time they act out.

Two weeks ago, from before, there had been arson started in the main room of the prison. Someone had found a way to set paper on fire and burn out half of the building including the cafeteria. This started to be one of the worst incidents for the prison and I have been switched by the prison board to a different prison as well other people have been moved too.

It has taken me lots of time to get used to this new prison because of the metal shoes we now wear and the ground is magnetic ;- to taunt us that we will never able to be free from this prison ceiling which sits above our head.

I count the pushups again and at thirty. One more pushup made my arms go dead, my pits of the elbow bent halfway tried to get back up but then I fell because of my dead and swollen arms.

By this time now, I pumped out an astounding two hundred pushups for my daily routine and I sit on my bent legs;- my chest breathing in and out at a fast rate. This was the only way which I stayed sane from giving into knocking somebody out on their ass from all the testosterone built within my body.

“Hey would you move it, your blocking the basketball court. I felt someone kick under my foot and he seemed very urgent.

Once more he kneed me in the back and I twisted my back, while I turned my head just enough to see a blurry glimpse of him and I had a serious expression on my face to make sure he knew that I would fight him, if he started something.

He pushed my back; I stepped up my left foot from underneath me, and soon after the right foot and quickly turned around with my hands balled up in fists at my side.

“Don’t mess with me!” I yelled with frustration as I looked down on him and my head was bent downwards.

He shook his head and spit on my shoe. I stepped inside his legs and made a gesture with my fist to his face;- he stepped back, thinking I were to hit him.

 As he walks off, turns his head toward me and move my hands toward my chest to show him who was boss.

I guess one could say that I will be the happiest person in the world if I ever get out of here.

Signed Out

                            Robert

 

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One, two and three- the other inmate counted- and I started to pump out push-ups like hell! The prison inmate had his hand balled into a fist under the lowest part of my chest.

My elbows bend and the inner pits of my arms, opposite of my elbows, were small angles, low, my arms against the ground.

I pushed my body off the ground, with my palms against the rough ground and this all happened in a small amount of time two push-ups, three pushups, consecutively , I pumped out my ups and downs, with the massive muscle mass I began to acquire while using my days for workouts mostly.

This was nothing, I thought with prideful thinking, as I still pumped out the pushups, I let my body fall onto his balled up fist –four down- I use the leverage of my palms to boost myself up again.

This happened so fast, but my bunk bed, inmate told me to not let myself fall too hard on his hand and to use every muscle in my body even more to create a harder work out for me.

“Try harder at the lifting up! Come on, I know you can do lots better at this. Keep pumping the pushups out at the rate you are doing. Seven down, seven up and eight down…”

He started to count the pushups like he thought I suddenly did not know how to count. I forced my voice over his volume and counted ten up, eleven down and so on.

I finally reach twenty-five and the other inmate removes his hand from underneath me as I use my hand to push myself up and sit on my legs. Afterwards I stretched the left leg from underneath me to the front of me and then the other leg to the front while I sit back on my butt.

The other orange suited man, who spotted me, was already on his knees but lifted one leg into standing position and put a hand down to lift up the other leg.

We usually joked with each other but this time he went too far and patted me on the cheek twice like I was some kind of slap around toy.

I waited for him to turn the other direction and one step with one foot, afterward the other step; his right foot took a consecutive step towards the prison bars that held us in.

Before I knew it, he lifted his hands and put every finger around the bars, each are a inch in diameter, and he tipped his head to the left slightly while starring into the blank, brick wall across the hallway.

I slowly put knees on the ground,- slowly one after the other and dropped my palms onto the ground and moved each foot and hand, one after the other limb and quietly sat behind, below and while he does not know it I push my balled up fist into his gonads to get him back for his petty slap that pissed me off so bad.

You guessed right he doubled over in pain and that was the last I heard from him the whole day and I did not get any more prison slaps for the next couple of days because he knew what could be coming for him if he did it again.

Signed out:

                        Robert Haze

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Prison has been a hard sentence for me. I’ve only had one time out of two weeks to post this post because I have been locked into solitary for so long. I’m sorry that I haven’t posted for two weeks.

There’s lots to be covered in this post. First of all, the other day while I sat down at lunch, someone pounded the table in front of my lunch. I slowly looked up; my eyes looked up slowly as well.

I let go of my fork and knife and slowly placed it onto the table. I twisted my head to the left and closed my eyes half way.

He demanded me to get up and fight with him. I lifted my legs off the bench and pushed the guy half way but the table was in the way. The table was the thing that kept me from the full force of my hands pushing him over.

He sprawled his left hand out and reached for me collar of my jump suit and gripped tightly to the collar and pulled me in then he stumbled while he came around the table. As this happened some people on our table dropped their jaws and stood up to start clapping.

When he was fully around the table he pulled his fist back and before I know it- he put the balled up fist an arm length to my face but he did not stop there- he repeatedly kept hitting me and hitting me.

This made the guards aware and the whole cafeteria went on lock down because of this one guys dumb mistake of trying to kill me over some dumb food.

The guards dropped spikes while everyone dropped to the ground. Alarms were going on everywhere and no-one knew when the pellets were to stop flying in the air.

Guards thought I started the fight because I pushed him first and know I have been in solitary confinement for two weeks but I’ve finally been placed into normal facility. Prison is only a joy for the hardened spirits.

Signed out:

                       ROBERT

These posts are all a work of fiction! Enjoy!

I’m left in jail with no bail. It’s funny how those two words rhyme. The chime sounds as I do time. There are so many rhymes I can come up with.

I feel like jail is taking forever for me to overcome. One day I’m bending over to pick up the soap which slips out of my hands during a shower with the other cell mates. This is what some people stereotype jail being like. Sometimes it is true; you can get graped in the shower. I’ve been in here for two weeks now and I’ve seen it once already.

The first day I was in county jail; someone threatened me if I didn’t get rid of the so called pony staring at them. I wanted to get into a fight with him because I became so pissed this guy had been ranting on about something that never existed in reality. Try thinking of that, while in jail someone is seeing magical creatures torturing them before their own eyes that is real logical and rational right?

If you guessed yes to the trivia above, then you guessed right. As I sat there on the jail bench with my head tilted back on the wall-; I spurred a thought.

The thought was the guy must have been on drugs- because when I was on drugs I tripped big time on things that other people could not see. Before I got drug help at a rehab-, I used MaryJuana, hash, crack cocaine and even speed.

I did it all. In fact, there was something that I didn’t do. That was I never smoked cigarettes.

You might ask why I’m in a jail cell-rotting my brains. Well, it’s simple as getting caught while trying to rob a family of four and get caught by neighborhood control. For all of you out there, learn the lesson I learned and save yourself some time by not doing the crime. Jail goes by like a snail on Sunday.

This leads me to my last topic for this entry. Someone tried to practice a tattoo on me the other day, while I jumped into bed. I kindly dropped his offer, but the muscle ripped dude kept persisting. He tried to force it on me but I laid him to the ground with my fist above his face.

That leads me to the last lesson for this blog space entry. You have to be tough when in jail. There are people who will not take no for an answer. This will lead to someone prevailing and the other person bending over for the prevailed to do whatever to the victim.

First of all, though, if you just stick to the first lesson and keep yourself out of jail, you will not have to deal with the jerks and their perks in a jail cell.

Stay cool and never drool because you are to become someone’s fool and it will lead off to a duel.

Signed Out:

                    Robert

These posts are all a work of fiction so enjoy!

Gambling is of the devil. It is one thing to spend money, but to gamble; I lost my entire savings. There are many addictions in the world, all of them can take away what you sacrificed for most and loved the most.

This can relate to my story and what happened to me in the duration of my visit to a casino in Las Vegas. It was last week, for the matter of fact.

Oh that terrible afternoon. It was after I went to a gas station in the outskirts of Las Vegas. As I take a seat to wait for my other friend, I spotted a fun game of gamble right on the side of the gas station.

First, I started out with a quarter. Nope that did not work. I slowly and intently lift my hand up to the machine to slide two quarters into the machine and gripped the lever hard and yet played again.

There was no luck both of those times. Just in that small amount of time, my friend comes out and opens his mouth; quickly spoke about the tickets you buy at a booth of a gas station.

“If you want to win at gambling you have to try something that will actually win you some money. This way I earned money out of it; at least to cover what I put into the gambling. Let us go and try to gamble with the cards.”

After his brilliant decision, I look to the right at the gambling machine, I look back to him. I snatch my back from off the table and follow him with precision in my steps to the cashier station; to the front of the store.

“Two tickets please! Can you please pick one ticket for me and one for my friend here?” He said to her with a sense of confidence in his voice.

As she picked out the lottery tickets, we were hopeful that she would pick the winners of the pile.

We quickly take the ticket between our fingers and pulled them back fast. We followed the instructions and scratched off what needed to be.

I loved the site I saw, “I won! I won! I won!!!!!!!”

“Robert what did you win?” He anxiously asked me and peered over my shoulder; just to wait for me to show him.

“Fifty grand. Buuuwya.”

As we filled out of the gas station with our fifty grand, we go to the best hotel/casino in Las Vegas to try and earn more money. But the sad thing was; ended losing our money. In fact, we went into fifty thousand dollars of debt. I’m in a danger to lose my house big time.

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All Works are fiction and are for entertainment purposes only! Enjoy. :{)

 

 The classics of my life in general are great. We do all have our funny things that happen in our life which make us Roll on the floor laughing or also known as (ROFL). This happened, in class, the other day. Everyday seems to have its funny roles but the ones I post up here beat all of them by far. Meaning I will show the funniest stuff.

As I was doing my make-up work the other day, I mostly caught up to what my teacher had the students do for homework. But the funny thing about this was someone else tried to get us to do something that wasn’t from our teacher.

This guy walks into my class and he had his eyes glued onto his notebook. We did not know who he was, but the fact that he came into our class was hilarious. He walks in his narrow short steps towards the board, which is about six feet from the doorway.

Then he starts to write things on the board. They were mathematical equations for the college class down the hallway. He then started to mutter different equations and the sound of his voice ranged from muttering to actually being able to understand what he is saying.

Teacher: Now students open up your math books to page fifty. We will be studying the letter in a mathematical equation.

This made me think, wow this guy is good! He doesn’t even know he is in the English class but yet he is to teach us about the letter in a mathematical equation. How sweet of him.

Or maybe he did know he was in here and thought he would be funny and wise by teaming up with our English teacher and maybe pull a prank on us.

But no, he turned halfway around to face the doom of embarrassment. His face adjusted upward and he looked at the classroom and said, oops sorry; wrong classroom! Then he started to take fast strides to the door but then realized he forgot to erase the board.

He takes long fast steps. He rubs his forehead between his thumb and index finger. He then gets up to the board holds an eraser to the board and swipes back and forth.

He said sorry and pushes the door open with his fingers bent towards the door.

Signed out:

                     Robert

Wax On. Wax Off.

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The other day was the funniest day I have had in years. It all started out with a bag of wax, gone wrong. I had tried to do my duties efficiently, but that is not how it turned out.

 

The whole thing started out with me not wanting to squirt the wax on the cloth that I possessed. In fact, I felt that the towel did not do its job. Guess what happened next?  I used a plastic bag, and cut a hole through the bottom left corner of the bag.

 

I then continued. I took my hands and handled the plastic bag and grabbed two sides on separate ends and lowered the plastic thing into the chamber of the wax. This is the part where it started to get messy.

 

I will save so much time by doing this the easier way. Or so I think. For all I know, my teacher thinks the other way is the better way, but no this is easier than to squirt the wax on a cloth. No, I will not do it that way, but the way that I think will work the best.

 

As this thought went through my head, I was a genius in disguise. I will be thanked and praised for finding a new way to dish out the wax.

 

When I had the wax in the bag like I wanted. I then proceeded to wax the floor my way. I stood and stooped over and began to tighten my right hand grip on the bag so it started to ooze out of the bag.

 

I take my cloth to wipe it into the floor, and I still thought this was a smart way to do it. But as I was half way done with the floor, someone comes in and one of her feet began to lose ground, then the other followed behind it.

 

Then she said “No. It’s all over my pretty dress. “

 

That is when I figured out to always listen to my instructor, no matter how genius and clever I think I’m being.

 

Signed out:

 

                      Robert

 

When it comes to college you have to be practical. But that was the funny thing about what happened to me the other day. I did something not practical. In fact, it was very impractical.

When I was in a rush to get into class, someone was trying to rush their way out. It was plenty of funny because I didn’t want to be late, but this guy didn’t want to go to class. As we are heading for each other’s directions, it happened so fast that I laugh at it until this day.

As we were about to collide, I take both of my hands and I push towards his shoulders and made sure that we did not collide.

But this was not enough for me to be satisfied because when he did not stop, I yelled straight at him, “can you even see me?”

But when we collided, everyone started to laugh at me and I felt so embarrassed. People had dropped what they did and pointed, laughed and it left me feeling like a stone statue.

This too has a lesson to be learned from this type of thing that happened to me. Always be alert and for hell sake, watch where you are stepping or in this instance watch where I’m stepping.

But back to the story, when the professor entered the room everyone started to stop laughing but when the professor asked why all the silence everyone began to start to laugh again and some pointed in my direction and I felt like the picked on one.

The professor then proceeds to say okay now pull out your science books to start on chapter ten. But when we all started to pull one of our books out, someone takes my book and dumps it on the floor and everyone started to laugh again.

I thought I heard someone tell me how big of a dork I am but it could have been a figment of my imagination.

Two lessons are to be learned from this story. Everyone can be a bully and try to pay much attention to what one is to do or that one will feel like a big idiot.

Signed Out

                     ROBERT

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Purple Nuts By a Rock

How does it feel to be grazed in the nuts by a rock? Well it’s very simple. This morning when I casually mowed my lawn, I had once come upon a rock that was also sitting there and also did its own thing.

Well as I came down a row of grass, I did not expect the unexpected. Probably because I did not expect the massive hard piece to do anything of the effect of fly at me.

But anyways back to the rock. When I was half way done with the chore that I did, in the area of the middle of the lawn, a rock got sucked up into the lawnmower and flung itself right into my nut sack. It hurt.

I doubled down right after this incident. I prayed that it wouldn’t hurt any longer. And I thought I heard myself in my prayers; please put me out of my misery.

Oh it is the worst thing in the world when someone either kicks me in the wrong spot, or the method this rock took by flinging its gray cement like body straight for the soft zone.

As I sit there and begged for mercy, which I knew was not to come; I then realized I needed this rock to keep as an item to remember. It’s now a rock, I look at every time, when I laid in bed and I said to myself; that rock kicked my ass, because I messed with it.

I guess the moral of this story is, if an object is harder than a soft ball, or relating to someone with a bad temper, then you don’t want to get on their rough side. Just pick up what you were to do and continue what you did. In other words turn the other cheek.

But this is another one of those bad, yet, moments of my life in which I learn from my mistakes, even when sometimes it’s a recipe for disaster. I eventually move on, even after getting nailed in the jewels, that with, I hope to create kids with one day.

SIGNED OUT                                                                          ROBERT

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